So here we are. The beginning of what can only be a beautiful four day weekend and the 4th anniversary of the day I cut with the chain smoking. More widely recognized as Thanksgiving, of course, but this is about me so we’re doing it my way (which should really come as no shock). Over the past three days, I’ve made it known to all the world the things that matter most in life: my son, mint oreos, my crazy family, and rockin’ friends. Cookies aside, I’m happy today. I’m happy to wake up to a new day, a new opportunity to make good choices, to take a new path, to try a new thing, to laugh, to sing, to dance, to extend a hand to a new friend, to experience every moment with new lenses, authenticity, big love, and good intention.  And a little sleep would be nice too, if I’m throwing things out there, but no complaints overall. I am exactly where I should be. Sometimes I don’t really know what that means, or appreciate it for all it is, or ever really stop worrying that I’m doing this whole life thing the right way, but the reality is always the same. I’m always exactly where I belong, in just the right moment, with just the right people. And I laugh as I type that, because it’s so much easier to say than it is to live.

I’ve spent far too much time in this short life analyzing the decisions and experiences of yesterday – all of which I have no ability to change or icontrol – or dreaming about and planning for a tomorrow that has yet to arrive, all the while taking for granted the only moments that matter – the today, the right now, this very second, this very breath. I don’t know why it’s so hard to live in the moment, at least for me, but it’s an almost constant and exasperating struggle, constantly reminding yourself, training your mind not to wander, to stay put, to smile and take a friggin’ look around right now. But I’m not perfect (even though I’m damn close), so it is what it is for now. I’m okay with…scratch that…I’m having fun in the attempt, in the learning, in the growing, in the falling down, and in the rising yet again. And today I’m grateful for this whole, big, messy journey. All the sweat, all the tears…I think we’re making something great here, this life. I’m collecting happiness one moment at a time and I couldn’t be more grateful than to merely have my itty bitty role in the big rolling universe. I’m beginning to understand who I am, who I am not, what I am capable of, and what needs a little more work. And I’m screwing up and skinning my knees, but I’m okay with that too, with giving up the drive for perfection for the joy of just being imperfect little me.  Whatever this is and whoever I am…this is what I was born to do. So I’m digging in and checking out the scenery. I’m taking it all in, I’m liking what I’m seeing, and I’m ready for more. And I have no greater gratitude than this…the opportunity to create the moments in which I live, and choice to paint them in big shades of beautiful.

Happy Thanksgiving.